Quieter Love

I would be lying if I said we never argue.

He’s a man and I am a woman and that means we are both human beings which means we sin against each other with some regularity.

It truly is rare for us to do more than get cross eyed with each other though. I think the last time I was honestly angry with the man was when he neglected to tell me that a party we would be attending later that evening was a surprise party and, you guessed it, I ruined the surprise part by asking if I could bring anything when we came over. That was several years ago and I’m over it. (For the most part 😉

I say all of that to say that my beloved was out of town last week and oh, dear goodness I miss that man when we’re not together. It’s not just the physical extra set of hands to deal with the kids or an extra set of ears to hear all that the kids say or whatever.

We both know that we are better together than we are apart. I am a better mother because of him. A better friend, a better person because of our relationship. Whatever I do I am better at it because of his love for me. And I pray that he is a better father, friend and pastor because of my love for him.

Because this is what love should do. God’s love changes us…makes us better and something other than what we are on our own that is glorious and impossible apart from Him. That is the love we should share because he is a man and I am a woman and we are His…together, as one flesh.

CS Lewis put it this way, “It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God…’Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity; this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run. Being in love is the explosion that started it.”

I Am His, He Is Mine

It was an article that briefly trended in facebook news yesterday that caught my eye.

Some actress, I sort of recognized her face but didn’t know her name at all and can’t even remember it today, was all in a dither during an interview about how much she hated to see a man put his arm around a woman. It was some kind of show of ownership and made her furiously angry every time she saw it.

And I thought, how stupid. It does not.

But then I thought about it for a little longer and realized I totally agreed with her even though my response is obviously completely different from hers.

When Rob places his arm around me he is making a declaration to friend and foe alike.

He is saying that I belong to him.

That I am under his care and protection.

That he makes provision for me and will keep me,as much as humanly possible, free from harm.

And I love it. It thrills me when he slips his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to his side or puts his arm around my waist. I delight in feeling his hand at the small of my back when we’re walking somewhere. It’s gives me a sense of well being.

It is a declaration of ownership but not that of a slave owner. Rather it is of a man who would willingly lay his life down for the woman he loves. It’s the,  “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,” kind of declaration.

I’ve only ever entertained the idea of one tattoo…his name on my ring finger. But since I can’t quiet convince myself to do it (and he would hate it if I did) I will take the statement that his arm around me apparently makes, the assertion that his ring on my finger makes, and the mark that his love leaves on my soul.

I’ll take all of that, however much it is disdained and held in contempt by the world, over the empty promises of self ownership that lead to a culture where woman can possibly believe that the baby in her womb should die for the freedom to not be “owned” by a man.

If ownership is this thing that he and I have, then I am all in. Shackle me close because what she holds in derision I have found to be a glorious delight…and as much as I belong to him…he belongs to me.

It is fitting, good, and right.

Well I Feel Bad

I thought about dinner during the day.

I even made a switch to serve edamame instead of spaghetti squash.

And even told Emily when it was time to start dinner she could help.

Not once did it cross my mind that I had not thawed the pork tenderloin that we were supposed to eat.

I like having a good meal ready for Rob when he comes home. And Rob likes it when I have a good meal ready for him when he comes home.

So there I was wondering what in the world were we going to do for dinner (Did I mention that I am slightly incapacitated because I hurt my knee?) and he comes home.

With this.

Yep, my man bought me a new to us 2010 Town and Country van!

A pretty shiny newer-and-nicer-than-I’ve-ever-had-before van.

One that doesn’t have a cracked and broken dashboard.

And it doesn’t make odd sounds because of some tire problem.

The trunk on this van opens all the time too.

I may be slightly spoiled.

Because I have a gorgeous new van and he got a bowl of cereal for dinner.