I went to bed at 9:30 last night. Rob is getting a bit of a head cold and was feeling tired and we tend to go to bed at that same time. Come to think of it, it’s a rare occurrence for us to not go to bed at the same time. Sleep has been a fickle friend the last few weeks so I was surprised at how quickly I drifted off and was even more surprised to not wake up until the alarm went off. (I kept waking up around 4 o’clock and was somewhat hopeful that time change would fix that but oddly enough it did not. Like my sleep pattern was recognizing numerals or something instead of you know, actual hours of sleep.)
I got up and went to start the coffee and this glow from the pot gave a dull blue light to the kitchen and the thought came to me that I have a lovely home, a good home. It was born out of gratitude for what God has given me and thankfulness that we had taken the time last night to tidy things up well before going to bed.
I’ve been in a bit of a blue fog lately, hormonal and somewhat moody. I’ve felt isolated on the inside with a sort of sadness I guess? It’s hard to explain because I am, by nature, a pretty happy person and not feeling “happy” is weird to me.
Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit but a wise man quietly holds it back.” and whenever I feel myself getting more emotional than normal or moody I try to remember that and live by it. But I also have to be wise and remember that Proverbs 18:1 says, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” If I let my thoughts, informed only by my emotions, be my only counsel then I can wind up in some pretty dangerous places. I had finally reached a point the day before where I could sort that blue fog out enough to talk to Rob about how I was feeling in a way that married both of those verses. I didn’t spew all the frustration or give full vent to everything but I also tempered my words by seeking understanding…needing it for myself but also asking for it from him.
I’ve seen homes crack under the pressure from outside things and become cluttered and messy on the inside when things are left untended. I know a wise woman builds her home and the foolish tears it down with her own hands. But this morning, in the blue glow of the coffee pot I was reminded of how grateful I am that there is a better way and that it is not a secret known to only a few.
In Deuteronomy 30:9–20 we are given the key to unlocking life:
“The LORD your God will make you abundantly prosperous in all the work of your hand, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your cattle and in the fruit of your ground. For the LORD will again take delight in prospering you, as he took delight in your fathers, when you obey the voice of the LORD your God, to keep his commandments and his statutes that are written in this Book of the Law, when you turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.
For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.
See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil. If you obey the commandments of the LORD your God that I command you today, by loving the LORD your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules, then you shall live and multiply, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You shall not live long in the land that you are going over the Jordan to enter and possess. I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the LORD your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.” (Emphasis is mine.)
The exercise now is to think through all the things we ought to be obedient in. Not so that we can have a check list of I do this and I do that. But rather so that we can turn our minds and hearts toward a way of life, a way of being, that declares we are His people and we live according to his way, one that takes our focus off of ourselves.
The list goes on and on…be patient, be kind, be tender hearted.
Repeatedly in the Old Testament the children of Israel were commanded to take God’s word with them everywhere, to bind it on their forehead, tie it to their wrists, write it on the doorposts and gates. He was commanding them to keep His ways at the forefront of their thoughts. It was for their good, to help them navigate their way in the sometimes treacherous journey they were on.
The same holds true for us. It is for our good that we do all that He has commanded.
May we be faithful to do so.