Romance is not my beloved’s strong suit. This is not me speaking out of turn either…he’d tell you the same thing. But yesterday he was preaching on husbands and he wore the same tie that he wore on the day we got married almost fourteen years ago. Pretty sweet, huh?
During his sermon he talked about the two Adams we find in Scripture. The first Adam, so happy in Genesis chapter two over the helpmeet God had created for him that he sang, abandoning her in chapter three. We see how he failed to protect her, how he stood by as she was deceived by the serpent. We then read his words as he shifts the blame to her when confronted by God.
The second Adam however, speaks of a different groomsman. This Adam resisted the sin of His bride but laid His life down to pay for those sins. This Adam died to redeem her.
I heard every word of my husband’s challenge to the men of our church to evaluate what sort of husband they are. I listened to him tell them all the things they needed to pursue in order to be like the second Adam.
And here is a simple truth. I know all the ways he falls short of being that husband. Better than anyone else sitting in that room, other than himself, I know when he acts more like the first Adam than the last. I know his sin just as well as I know my own.
Just like you know all the times and ways your husband has failed you.
But my husband doesn’t need me to tell him when he fails. Neither does yours. They know just as surely as we know when we’ve sinned. What they need is Grace.
Not cheap grace either. Not the kind of grace that we may be willing to extend someone because we know we’re bound to screw it up and this way no one can hold anyone accountable kind of grace. Not the kind of grace that is self righteous in it’s long suffering; that lords it over his head forever that he sinned against you and fails to be all that God has called him to be. Not the pseudo grace that looks like you’re willing to forgive only you’re not…the one all wrapped up and disguised by bitterness.
It’s the kind of Grace that accepts the wound of his sin. The kind of Grace that will cause you to let your guard down and risk being hurt again. It’s the Grace that washes white as snow and gives him his eleventy hundredth second chance.
It’s the kind of Grace that is hospitable. Think about that moment. Grace that is hospitable? Yes, this Grace that our husbands need is hospitable, welcoming and generous. It’s open and full of promise. It’s the Grace that leaves you trembling and vulnerable. It’s Grace that is tender and fierce, offering forgiveness and sanctuary when all you want to do is run and hide.
It’s the same kind of Grace that hung on a tree. It’s the kind of Grace that was rejected and despised and spit upon. The kind of Grace that has it’s roots in death but yields life.
Why should we extend this Grace to them? Because it is the Grace that was given to us…because there was death that we might have life. Because we walk worthy of the calling to which we have been called no matter what kind of husband he is.
We are the wives we are called to be not because he deserves that kind of wife but because He is the Bridegroom that we don’t deserve.
Because it’s the kind of Grace that we need our husbands to extend toward us. See, last week Rob preached on husbands. This coming Sunday he’ll be preaching on wives.
I know I need that kind of Grace.