Without Shame

Four of our children attend a classical Christian school. Trinitas is an amazing community and we couldn’t be happier to have our girls there each day. A few weeks ago I spent two days at their school taking pictures and I loved seeing the classes work, the way the older students work with and care for the younger ones, and I even got to see the Egyptian Day celebration. It was fun.

But I realized something at the end of those two days. I am a card carrying, flag waving couldn’t be happier stay at home mom. A glorified cook/housekeeper. I enjoyed being at the school but I love my home. I love being home.

Have you ever seen some of the clever ways women have titled their job in the home?

Domestic engineer. Supervisor of Human Resources. Hissyfit Negotiator. Archaeologist Specializing in Closet and Under Bed Excavation. Playground Safety Commissioner. Research Specialist for the Advancement of Domestic Upkeep.

Let’s face it. Those tongue in cheek titles still sound way more glamorous than the simple phrase ‘house wife’. And, since we’re being honest, we’ve each probably stressed the all important I work at home. We don’t want anyone to misunderstand that even though we’re SAHM’s somehow that means we aren’t busy and doing important stuff.

You know. Like laundry and cooking and cleaning and stuff.

But here’s the thing. We’ve also probably all felt that what we do really isn’t that big of a deal. Or that it doesn’t make that big of a difference because everything I did today? I’m just going to have to get up and do all over again tomorrow. Or even worse, that anybody could step in a do what I do without missing a beat.

The truth of the matter is that no one could step in a do what I do for my family. Oh, sure somebody could get the laundry folded and scrub the floors (and boy wouldn’t that be nice!) But that person probably won’t know that my beloved likes his shirts folded just this way…or that this t-shirt is Sam’s favorite to sleep in and you have to go poking around to find it just to get it in the wash. Someone else could get the school uniforms ready each week but they won’t know that Claire likes the tan skort over the blue one and Sarah only wears a blue shirt at the beginning of the week. (I cannot explain that one at all…she just prefers that color.) Someone else could make lunches but they won’t know that Abby likes ranch dressing with her cucumbers but not her carrots. Someone else could make Emily’s cup of hot tea in the morning but they won’t know that she likes creamer in her earl gray but plain old milk and sugar in her vanilla chai.  Those are the things that I know. Knowing those things makes me good at my job so to speak.

But even that isn’t what gives worth to what I do as a housewife. The value is found not in the work itself but the One who gives me that work. Consider Ephesians 2:10 with me,

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (ESV)

He has prepared good works for me to do. And what are those good works? Right now they are tending my home and family with a joyful heart. The work that we have been given to do in our homes has value because it is the work He has called us to. I don’t have to go looking somewhere else for good, i.e.valuable, work to do…He has created it already for me to do. The point of this is that you should value the work you do in your home because your Creator values that work.

So the next time you’re tempted to think that what you do isn’t important or that anyone can do it, don’t. Remind yourself that your husband isn’t sharing his secrets and thoughts and dreams with another woman~he shares them with you. Your children don’t go to just any woman who happens to be standing around when they want something, get hurt or feel sick~they want you.

Of course our homes aren’t the only place that we have good work to do. There are lots of ways and things to be done within the communities in which we live. But I think it’s important that as we go about our duties and as we are training up our daughters to love home that we recognize the value of being a housewife.

Although Queen of Domesticity does have a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Linking up with Heart & Home and Titus 2 Tuesday. Also joining the party at the Time Warp Wife

8 thoughts on “Without Shame

  1. Hi Marty – oh, i loved this post. Really resonated with me. I, too, am a real home-body! And yes, SAHM do real WORK! 🙂 I've been studying Eph. 2:8-10 this week, so love the personal application you provided for it! Blessings! Melissa Deming


  2. I'm so glad that it had an impact, Melissa! I think the Church has a long road ahead to reclaim the beauty and value of women loving their homes and seeing it as good.


  3. Hi Marty, I'm a FTWM, but really just a mother who happens to work outside home for some part (okay, most part) of the day. I really admire SAHM- The beauty and value you bring to your home. For a domestically challenged person like me, it is no simple stuff keeping the house in order. You're aptly right, Queen of Domesticity, and nothing less. ;D


  4. I was a SAHM at one time. My children are grown and gone, but I remember feeling \”less than\” and defensive about my choice. I even admit to being proud to at least say that I'm a part-time piano teacher now when someone asks what I do because I still choose not to work outside my home. I plan on sharing this on Facebook as I know many SAHM moms who need to hear what you have to say here, Marty. God bless you and your sweet family!


  5. LOVE THIS! thank you so much for your encouragement. i am a stay at home momma to four little ones (though the oldest is getting not-so-littler by the day!!), and your paragraph about knowing the little things rang so true for me! i had to laugh because my list would include, \”i am the only one who knows that the 4T black pants are really the 6 yr old's, but the 4t pink pants only fit the 4 yr old.\” and the way they all love their syrup on their waffles just a little bit differently… they way the do everything just a little bit differently…. those precious intricacies are forever imprinted on my exhausted but oh so ever blessed heart. it is easy to get lost in the daily tyranny of the urgent and forget that this is such an important job. thank you for the reminder.


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